Ramblings of an Old, Romantic Soul

 It is Good Friday. My mind is full of memories, pictures from the past.  I was talking with my husband the other day about life; what we expect, is it what we thought it would be? It's no secret that he and I have had our 'differences', politically. It's tough. We've been married 25 years. Is our marriage, today, what we thought it would be? Yes, and no. Did we ever think we would be at odds? I said to him: "life takes over - we're not so innocent anymore. The pure joy of childhood dissipates. What we thought life would be changes. Life may not be quite what we thought it would - not that it's bad, just not what our child minds envisioned."  How true.  Early this morning, I was chatting with a very dear friend, one of the best humans I will ever know - Joan. She is my rock, and her faith constantly lifts me up. This what Joan said that has me thinking so much: "Remembering my childhood with a new Easter dress, fancy coat, Easter hat, ruffled ...

Depression is deceptive. Grief is sneaky. Together they are lethal, cunning, and insidious. And somedays I feel them grasping, pulling me deeper and deeper into the mire. It is scary.  This is truth. It does not mean that I do not have faith. I do. And I pray every day. Every day I see God's beauty. I thank Him for His grace and mercy - thankful for the blessings in my life.  And yet.  The other day I was mowing the lawn, something I enjoy doing. While resting, I happened to look over to the garden where Miss Marplestein and Dulcinea are buried - the hammer hit with the knowledge, again, they are not with us; that they died so close together and so near Mom's death. I am convinced that grief (for Mom and her sister), was a huge part in Miss M's death. These thoughts hit so unexpectedly. What do you do? Thoughts of my brother, still languishing in a hospital bed for three months, are never far away. Will he pull through? Is this his time - is God calling him home? Why can...