Wednesday, October 1, 2014

The Circle of Life


I awoke this morning with thoughts running through my head, which isn't unusual - seems my head is constantly full of many thoughts - some deep, some mundane; some I share, some I don't.  Today I will share.

Much has happened in our family in the past five years.  And I've realized that since 2009, there has been a constant sadness in my life, a melancholy that has planted itself deep within.  Sure, there have been moments of happiness, days of happiness, but the melancholy always seeps back in; it never seems to quite disappear.

Back to my thoughts of this morning.  When someone, or something, we love dies, we feel as though we cannot go on.  We wonder how life will continue.  We believe that life can't possibly continue. And yet it does.  Somehow life goes on.  Babies are born, marriages occur, children move away and start lives of their own.  We get up day after day and go through the motions of every day life. Yes, life does go on.

In perusing my old journals, dating as far back as 1973 (I was 14!), I clearly see how everything happens for a purpose.  While in the midst of heartache, we don't always see the big picture; we don't understand why things happen.  Oh, I was such a fool in so many ways and cannot believe I did some of the things I did - chasing after men who were losers; giving my heart away time after time only to have it smashed in pieces.  And yet, I loved and loved deeply.  Sometimes the clown, but always true, always real.  And life always went on.

Through the sexual abuse of my nieces and the subsequent trials; to a dear friend's futile battle with melanoma; to the death of my beloved father and the sudden loss of my brother-in-law; to watching my sister, nieces and nephew progress through their grief - life does go on.  It's as the song says "In the circle of life, it's the wheel of fortune, it's the leap of faith, it's the band of hope. Till we find our place, on the path unwinding in the circle , the circle of life".



Thursday, March 27, 2014

Olivia and Emma


The other day I heard a story that has touched my heart, and stayed with me.  Two little girls, sisters, were killed in an automobile accident.  Olivia was 6, Emma was 3.  They have a surviving sister, Vivian.  I cannot imagine what the families of these two girls must be feeling, the grief that must consume them.  I do not know them, but they have been in my thoughts, my prayers.



Olivia and Emma

We did not want to leave so soon,
but Jesus called our name;
‘Olivia and Emma, come’,
and then the angels came.

They gently took us by the hand,
they wiped away each tear;
They softly raised our bodies up,
erasing every fear.

God greeted us with open arms,
He placed us in His palm;
And oh, such beauty filled our souls,
His touch, a soothing balm.

Though grief assails, remember we
have seen His mighty throne;
we hear the angels praise and sing,
and we are not alone.

Kristina M. Hooper @ 3/27/14


Friday, February 7, 2014

When You Miss A Loved One


The following poem is a collaboration between myself and a dear friend, Sheri Stanley.  It is dedicated to all those who have lost a loved one, a reminder that life goes on and the heart does heal.


When You Miss A Loved One
                   Kristina Hooper and Sheri Stanley United States

Just take a little stroll into the garden
to the Dynamite Crepe Myrtle
Let its radiance shine upon your face
Relax and feel the breeze, touch the smile,
and know they are there by your side
A flutter of tears soon overwhelms
to ease the sorrow that penetrates
through your falling tears;

every tear is a memory,
gently caressing the aching heart
frozen by grief, trapped in sorrow
the warmth permeates,
and slowly the heart begins to heal again,
a sign that life is present and worth living
Just as the Crepe Myrtle stands strong through storms,
so shall we survive and carry on.


Friday, September 20, 2013

A Sister's Love


Tomorrow marks the eighth month anniversary of my brother-in-law's death.  And of course, today my thoughts have been of my sister, nieces, and nephew.

I find that words fall so short, and so often I am at a loss as to what to say.  What is there to say that will comfort them, that will ease the ache in their hearts, the emptiness in their lives.  I talk to my sister and I hear her pain, feel her grief, and yet, there is nothing I can do.  Kate, this is for you.












A Sister's Love

If I could try, I’d take away,
the loneliness day after day;
I’d kiss your tears, erase your pain,
would make you laugh and smile again.

Mere words fall short, then disappear,
next to your sorrow, and your fear;
would that I could, I’d take your place,
but I cannot, this is your race.

With every teardrop that you cry,
or every time you want to die;
with every day you weep and grieve,
I am beside you, I’ll not leave.

A sister’s love, deep as the sea,
reach out your hand, and there I’ll be;
to walk beside you to the end,
and carry you, my sister, friend.












Thursday, September 12, 2013

Frozen Spirit


As a writer, one of the worst things to happen is 'writer's block'.  I've been suffering from such for some time now - years, actually.  Oh, periodically the muse would sneak through and I would create something, but for the most part my writing pallet has been blank.

Since 2009, we've had some very traumatic family events.  There has been revelations of sexual abuse and two trials, ending with the conviction of an ex-brother-in-law; there have been major surgeries - most unexpected surgeries; and then there have been deaths - my beloved father died in January 2011, and my brother-in-law in January 2013.  Not to mention friends and extended family members, and beloved pets, who have also passed away.  It's been a hellish and mentally exhausting couple of years.

Yesterday, I was able to write.  And on the poetry site I belong - poetsforintegrity.org - someone commented on one of the poems.  She said 'sometimes the spirit is frozen'.  And a lightening bolt hit!  Her words explained what I had been feeling all this time...my spirit was frozen.   Following is a poem I wrote after reading her review.  The style is my own creation.  I thank the Lord, and my friend, for the inspiration; and I pray that my spirit, once frozen, is now beginning to thaw.


Frozen

My spirit frozen, deep in sleep
too much pain
and grief to bear

Words come to mind, flit through the brain
icicles
in frosty air

A wintry wasteland, vast and wide
months go by
nothing to share

But as they say, time heals all wounds
as do tears
with love and prayer

Perhaps the glacial plains now thaw
feeling warmth
no more despair

Kristina M. Hooper, 11 September 2013

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

I Cry


On 21 January 2013, my beloved brother-in-law suddenly passed away.  He went out for his walk, and never came home, having had a massive heart attack.  He left a loving, devoted wife and three children behind.  Not to mention a grieving extended family.  My heart aches for my sister and my nieces, and nephew; wanting to comfort and console, but knowing my words fall short so many times.  Some hurts are just too hard to write about.  But today, I was able to pen some words - imagining how my sister feels, and the emptiness that is now in her life.  This poem is dedicated to my dearest sister, Kate; my nephew, Matt; and my two nieces, Molly and Maggie.
          



   I Cry

I cannot face this world alone,
 not sure I want to try;
the future now so damned unknown,
 with every tear I cry.

You left me here, without a word,
 not even a goodbye;
now every day is just absurd,
 and every day I cry.

So hard to comprehend this plan,
 hard not to question why;
I only know I miss my man,
 with every tear I cry.

Forever you are gone from me,
 such truth I would defy;
yet no one seems to hear my plea,
 so every day I cry.


Kristina M. Hooper @ 11 September 2013 


Saturday, December 15, 2012

The Angels Weep


I truly believe there is not one soul who cannot, who is not, affected by what transpired in Connecticut yesterday.  Words seem so shallow, hollow.  But below is my humble attempt to honor those who were killed.



Children’s laughter rang through the halls,
then silence ~
eternal sleep

Families now torn asunder,
forever ~
sorrow too deep

Twenty-six souls heavenly bound,
tears for them ~
the angels weep
 
 
@ Kristina M. Hooper, 12/15/12