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Showing posts from 2010

Daddy

After much deliberation and soul searching, my father has decided to stop his dialysis treatments.  He started hospice care Wednesday evening (12/29/10), at home.  He is home, where he has longed to be for seven long, torturous weeks.  He is home with the love of his life.  He is home, surrounded by his family, surrounded by love. It is all too surreal.  My mind knows he is home to die, and it won't be long.  But my heart looks at him, sees him and thinks 'he's just sick, he'll get better'.  This time, there is no better - only when he leaves this life to join his Mom and Dad, his Grammy, in eternal life. How do you say goodbye to someone who has been a part of your life forever?  How do you say goodbye to the one person you trust beyond all measure, the one person who makes you feel so special and loved?  How do you say goodbye to such a holy, spiritual man who was a devoted husband for 59 years; and a dedicated and loving father?  Who served his Lord with all

Christmas Thoughts

So, I'm sitting here in my parent's condo.  It's Christmas morning, but a strange Christmas morning as my Dad is not here, nor is my husband.  This Christmas will be quite different.  I feel a bit of sadness, perhaps melancholy, thinking about past Christmases. I remember going to midnight mass; the excitement of it all.  We would take a nap, then get up and get dressed - our Christmas best - and head off to church.  The church was so beautiful and peaceful.  And in our hearts was love and excitement, knowing we would soon be going home to a Christmas buffet and the opening of one present.  Ah, the excitement of waking up Christmas morning, running downstairs to see the presents; the anticipation of what was to come.  My parents didn't have tons of money, but always managed to provide wonderful gifts.  As children though, we didn't always appreciate their efforts.  There was always one child that was gloomy because we didn't get enough presents, or we didn&#

Quiet

So, it's a rainy morning.  Get out of bed, have coffee, get on the computer, light the tree and enjoy the quiet morning hour, rain gently falling outside.  A peaceful kind of quiet. Ah.  Then, something changes.  A word spoken out of turn?  Some small act of annoyance?  Who knows.  But the mood changes and it's not so peaceful anymore, but a strained silence.  What happened?  The tree is still it, the rain is still falling gently outside, and so are my tears.

Nativity Scene

This Christmas Terry and I will be staying home.  We decided to do a bit more decorating this year since we'll be here to enjoy it the whole season.  We want an outdoor nativity scene.  But can we find one?  We've been to Walmart, K-Mart, Family Dollar, Beall's, Lowe's...just about every place we can think of to look.  We have found Santa, reindeer, penguins; we have found all kinds of inflatable decorations, but no outdoor nativity scenes.  We have looked on-line, and have found some that cost an arm and leg.  And yes, Lowe's did have one, a bit more expensive than we wanted to spend.  I just find it odd that there are plenty of commercialized items to be found, be very few that speak to the true meaning of Christmas ~ the birth of our Christ. So, Terry is going to do what he does best and improvise.  He has his mother's heart and talent and is quite the artist ~ and he has a vision.  Somehow we will have our outdoor nativity scene...

Heart Strings

And so, tomorrow my husband and I will be heading home.  It's been a long time away for both of us and we are eager to get back home, to our home.  I miss my babies.  Yet leaving family and friends is hard, and the heart strings are pulling... This has been another wild, emotional ride...will there ever be a time we visit when hospitals and sick people aren't involved?  We came up in June for our nephew's wedding and ended up spending most of the time at a hospital, his brother fighting for his life.  This time, there has been sickness, surgeries, accidents, hospital visits - on both sides of the family.  My Dad is still in the hospital and leaving him is rather hard.  Leaving my Mom, alone in her condo, is hard.  Part of me wants to stay longer to ensure Dad is okay; to keep Mom company so she's not alone, but I know both will be well cared for by my siblings.  Even so, the heart strings pull. I wasn't planning to be up here for three and half weeks.  And yes,

Jar of Hearts

The lyrics to this song are quite powerful.  Christina Perri sings the song, and most likely it is written for a romantic/love relationship.  And yet my niece said it rather reminds her of her Dad.  How sad is it, that a daughter would feel these words, emotions, towards her father...I listened to the song and ended up in tears.   And I wonder if he has any clue what he has lost?  The great love he threw away from two of the most precious gifts he ever possessed.  No, a man with 'ice in his soul' wouldn't realize such a thing because he thinks only of himself, loves only himself.  Thing is, my nieces are not his ghosts anymore, they are alive and thriving and moving on, despite the hurt and betrayal, despite his lies.  Thankfully, they 'have grown too strong to ever fall back into his arms'.  Who does he think he is?   My thought was to write a Thanksgiving piece (since today is the day for giving thanks) and to write about this latest, wild, trip to Maryland...bu

The Great Huntresses

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'Do you see it?  Where did it go?' I don't see it, but they know it's there! I think Dulcinea was getting bored Many of you know that I have two precious babies:  Miss Marplestein and Dulcinea.  Yes, they are cats, but they are very precious to me.  They show me love, and attitude, all the time! Last night, I saw Miss Marplestein reaching under the CD tower.  She looked at me with a dust bunny hanging off her whiskers, so I knew she was after something.  I looked and saw nothing.  Next thing I know, her sister, Dulcinea, is joining her in the search.  They were trying to get behind the tower, under the tower, behind the bookcase...this went on for some time.  Then they stopped and posted watch.  They sat in front of the tower for hours.  Literally.  They didn't move.  Eventually I went into the bedroom.  I came out to check on them, to tell them that I didn't think anything was there, or if it was, it was under the bookcase, but they were zonked ou

My So Called Life

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How many of us know someone who is involved in an abusive relationship?  Whether it's physical, mental, or spiritual, the abuser keeps a strong hold on his victim.  And how many times have we heard that someone tried to get a restraining order, but the justice system failed to follow through and the victim ends up dead?  I have someone very dear to my heart who is involved in an abusive relationship; somehow this horrific crime must be stopped and stopped now! My So Called Life   He speaks of love then turns around and beats me with his fists; he shouts out every wrong I do, imaginary lists. And every punch and every kick reminds me I am dirt; my so called life, a living hell, my mind too numb to hurt. My heart aches so, I try to please, my body, black and blue; but nothing's ever good enough,

A Good Life

Am I the only one who thinks about death?  Am I odd to wonder what people will say at my funeral, or who will even come to pay their respects?  Is it strange to consider the impact my life has on those I love?  Am I bizarre to think I am just a blip in people's lives? I'm not morbid, not normally.  But today I am reflective and pondering on 'the good life'.  What makes a good life?  Is it fame and fortune, material possessions?  Is it how many friends you have on facebook, or how many people you text every day?  I think not. I sometimes feel that I am inconsequential, mediocre; that I haven't accomplished much in my life.  I haven't written the novel that's been in my mind for 30 years.  I haven't invented any great gadget to enrich people's lives.  What have I done?  My husband once said 'who decides what a good life is?'  He said that perhaps being a good and loving wife, or a kind and loyal daughter, or a goofy aunt who loves her niece

Vegas

'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas'...NOT!  Not anymore you POS.  The secret is out and no matter what the verdict in court was, you are guilty as sin.  The girls know, their family knows, the lawyers know, the neighbors know, YOU know, and most importantly GOD knows.  It will come back to you. I am still trying to get my head around the verdict, but I am in a much better place than I was Monday.  Sure, I can drive myself crazy thinking about it - the how's, the why's, etc.  But the plain truth is, we will never fully know why the verdict came down as it did.  I have to wonder if the verdict was a gift from God for the girls - can you imagine the burden they would carry knowing their testimony put their father in jail?  Perhaps someone else, something else, will come along and he'll land in jail, right where he is supposed to be, but it won't be on the girls' shoulders.  All I know is there is a reason why things happened as they did.  That's it.

Truth and Justice?

What a load of crap. We have truth on our side, but where is the justice?  I am still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that this man was found not guilty of all his crimes.  That he was free to walk out of that court room and to continue to live his life as if nothing has happened.  May he rot. I've heard all the platitudes:  'God works in mysterious ways'; 'Karma is a bitch'; 'He's already lost everything'; 'He will get his somewhere down the road', etc.  The only one I agree with, somewhat, is 'The girls have already won'.  Yes, they have.  They faced their abuser and exposed the ugly secret, exposed him for the monster he is.  They can move on and live their life.  They are free.  But how sweet it would have been to know that others believed them, validated their story? We'll never know why he was found not guilty.  The only explanation can be 'reasonable doubt'.  Or someone got to the jury, which wouldn't

Trial

Well, it's almost time for the trial to start.  I leave tomorrow ~ will I get a call today, this evening, saying it has been postponed once again?  Considering it's 4:15, I think not, but one never knows.  And we were told that there will be no more postponements...but again, one never knows. What a great feeling it will be to finally have this behind us.  It will be a huge relief to me. I can't even begin to imagine how my sister and nieces are feeling.  This had dragged on now for over a year.  And what will the outcome be?  Will justice be served for my nieces?  Is he going to pay for the crimes he committed against them?  All sorts of thoughts and questions are racing through my mind, making it pretty difficult to actually think even one sane thought.  Will he take a plea at the last minute?  Will he finally realize what he's putting his daughters through and wake up, save them from testifying against him?  Will he drop the arrogance and ask their forgiveness, or

Laundry

...or should I say dirty laundry? For 13 years, I have wanted my shirts hung up after washing - I don't like to put them in the dryer.  Is it such an insurmountable problem that my husband just can't seem to get his head around?  God bless him for doing the laundry...but when I start to fold and there is not one, not two, not three, but four of my shirts - all dried in the dryer, I just want to ring his neck?!  I have started doing the laundry.  I most often do.  But today I had to service a new store, and when I got home I was pooped - my feet ached (didn't wear proper shoes!) and my back ached.  He had done the dishes, the trash, had lunch ready for me, removed the dead battery from the car, and laundry...how could I possibly be upset?  But I asked him...'after 13 years of marriage, why don't you know NOT to put my shirts in the dryer?'...and you know what the answer was 'I do know; don't know why I do it'.  ????? I believe the issue is, he d

Labor of Love

Remember Jim Croce's song?  'Photographs and memories...all that I have are these to remember you'...what a song, what a singer! I have finally begun the huge task of sorting through family photographs - we're talking years of photos.  I will sort and scan, and digitize the photos.  What a joy it's been sorting through - pictures of my nieces and nephews when they were little; pictures of my siblings when we were teenagers, and younger.  They bring back such memories ~ some good, some bad ~ but all filled with love.  I even found a photograph of my Dad with his parents!  The first picture I've ever seen with the three of them together...what a gift that find was to me as I never knew my grandparents. Luckily, I still have more than the photographs and memories - I still have my parents, my siblings, my entire family in my life.  But the joy of going through these photos...the laughter, the tears...great memories to cherish! Certainly not a chore, but a lab

Sore Loser

So, the time with my nieces is coming to a close.  They will depart here next Tuesday.  Am I ready for them to go?  Yes, and no.  It's been wonderful having them here, having so much girl time; sharing, laughing, watching movies, going to the beach, etc.  And playing cards.  Wow.  Have we been playing cards.  I am proud to say that I am still the champ in Spit, Pounce, and 500 Rummy - but Phase 10 and Uno?  Um, not so much.  Yes, both the girls have beat me once or twice in all the games, but they have creamed me in Phase 10 and Uno.  And all those childhood feelings of losing have come flooding back!  Yeah, I don't like to lose.  I thought perhaps I had outgrown that silly notion - but no, it is still inherent in my being.  My body tenses, I get angry, and very frustrated...as I told the girls one day 'I am not mad, mad, just mad and frustrated!'...they loved it!  It is safe to say that my nieces have seen a whole different side to their Auntie and they have heard her

My Favorite Things

Someone posted this on my poetry website - I just had to share it with all of you!  It is a classic!  Enjoy! Julie Andrews made a special appearance At Manhattan’s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. She sang “My Favorite Things” from the legendary movie “Sound of Music.” These are the actual lyrics she used: “My Favorite Things” *** Julie Andrews made a special appearance At Manhattan’s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. She sang “My Favorite Things” from the legendary movie “Sound of Music.” These are the actual lyrics she used: Maalox and nose drops and  needles for knitting. Walkers and handrails and New dental fittings, Bundles of magazines tied up in string. These are a few of my favorite things. Cadillac’s and cataracts and  hearing aids and glasses, Polident and Fixodent and False teeth in glasses, Pacemakers, golf carts and Porches with swings, These are a few of my favorite things… When the pipes leak  When the bones creak, When the knees

To My Sister, Kate

Happy Birthday, Queer! (Sister McGee) My sister, my life long friend…You have been with me the longest, through thick and thin, tears and laughter, sorrow and joy.  For 50 years we have shared our lives: from small children playing make believe games, to teenagers sharing crushes and loves, to adults, married with husbands and families. You, Kate, are amazing.  I don’t believe you realize the impact you have on the lives that surround you ~ how lost we would be without you in our lives.  You have the love and devotion of a man who has been smitten with you fro 21 years.  Your children love and adore you, as do their friends ~ you are the cool Mom!  As for me, I simply love you beyond words for the quirky, smart, loving, warm, funny individual you are ~ my sister and forever friend.  True dat! Never doubt your place in life or our family.  Never doubt your specialness.  Never wonder if you are loved or cherished.  For you are, far more than you will ever realize or know.  On thi

Letter to My Love

I miss your presence ~ miss your smile, your laugh, all that is you.  I miss the way you pour my coffee in the morning and the way you take out the trash.   I miss your 'I love you'; I miss your kisses.  And deep in the night I miss the nearness of you, the comfort of your touch, your breath, your snores ~ all those things that let me know you are there, with me, beside me, protecting me from harm. Every day activities just aren't the same without you. How many thoughts come to mind, wanting to share with you, but not having you near enough to hear. I miss your presence, your essence ~ all that is you. I love you.  Return to me soon, my love.

A Poet's Heart

I live to write, and write to live, my soul within does yearn; yet many fail to understand, the passion and the burn. To write emotions honestly, remorse, distress, desire; such ramblings of a poet's heart, that stem from burning fire. Say what you will, call me insane, or call me quite absurd; I listen not, for they don't know the power of the word. No one can truly comprehend, the essence of my drive; the urgency to pen sweet words, in order to survive. I write to live, and live to write, each word, necessity; to fuel this flame, my inner core, hungers for poetry.   Copyright Kristina M. Hooper, 7/18/10  

Instant Family

As many of you know, my husband and I were not blessed with children.  I have often wondered what it would be like, what our life would have been like if we had had Little Jack or Little Mella.  I'm finding out now. Two of my nieces are staying with us for the summer.  And when I say 'us', I mean me, myself, and I.  My dear husband had to leave to help family in another state, and I am now left with an 18 year old, and a 13 year old.  It is quite interesting, to say the least. May I say first and foremost that I can now appreciate my sisters much, much, more...raising children is not easy, this I have learned.  And let me remind you, my husband and I live alone.  As much as I call my kitties 'my babies', they are nothing like real children, as I am finding out (okay, okay, I already knew this, but...) I love my nieces with all my heart and I am having a great time...but I am used to quiet - you know, that thing where only me and husband are in the house - no T

Faith

Most of my life I have been surrounded by a strong faith.  I was raised as a Roman Catholic, going to church every day, and receiving the sacraments: first holy communion, confession, and confirmation, even holy matrimony (in much later years, of course).  When I was 10, my parents became involved with the Catholic Charismatic Renewal; my life was forever changed. My parents began having weekly prayer meetings in our house.  I attended, but only because there was nothing else to do; we couldn't watch TV, we had to be quiet - so why not sing and pray?  Plus, we were adored by those attending - everyone thought it was so cute to see 'the little children' praying so fervently.  My Dad took to giving us scripture lessons at dinner - boring! He would have us memorize scriptures, sing chants, learn prayers...all this we did with loud groans and embarrassment.  No one else had to endure what we endured.  I remember the lessons my Dad gave on the Our Father and the Creed...he dis

On-line World

The preparations for going home are always exciting.  The biggest issue for me is 'Do I take my laptop or not?' I decided This time to leave it home and have realized I am quite addicted to the thing, to Facebook, to email, and to my poetry sites.  It kills me not to have free access!  Yes, I do have sporadic use of my brother's computer (and this is being typed on my mother's while she is fast asleep); I am refraining from constant use, but oh, how it hurts! lol  I wonder what I am missing, what's happening without my presence; how many notifications I will have, how many friend requests, who is beating me in Bejeweled or Mahjong Dimensions...I wonder how many emails are piling up or how many people have read my poems.  I imagine this huge backlog that will take forever to peruse.  I log on with anticipation only to find I am not quite the poetic genius I thought, nor the most popular on Facebook.  I am learning that sometimes not much happens when I am gone...so l

Family

I'm sitting here, just chilling out, relaxing, listening to a gentle thunder - hoping it will rain - our flowers/plants desperately need the water.  For three days now the sky has blackened, thunder has boomed, and then it passes right over...I'm relaxing because tomorrow we have a long, arduous drive...heading back to Baltimore for my nephew's wedding. Where did the time go?  I remember when he was just a little baby - when my sister and her husband packed up and moved to Yakima, Washington.   I remember being at the airport saying our goodbyes, and he was just months old...he was the cutest baby!  He came out cute...he was the first baby that I ever truly said was beautiful!  And he still is.  He has become a handsome young man, responsible, and he has found the woman he wants to share his life with.  I have not met her; am looking forward to doing so...my sister loves her, so that's a good sign!  But I don't feel that much older.  I know I am, but I still feel

Life Feels Better

Sometimes life throws a curve ball that knock us off our feet. Sometimes we get up right away, wipe the dust off and continue on.  Other times, it's not so easy.  Sometimes the curve ball hits us hard and knocks our breath out, making it difficult to move, to think, to feel.  And yet, life goes on.  Eventually, we do manage to breathe again, to feel again...to realize that there is light at the end of the tunnel...life does go on and the heart does heal.  And today, for me, life sure feels better. Life Feels Better Life seems better than before, every day the sun shines more; past is past, best to ignore, think of peace and sweet rapport. Just step outside, go explore, find the beauty, I implore! See the mountains, or the shore, watch a lone bird float and soar; sunrise, sunset ~ stop, adore; Everywhere such gifts galore... Oh yes, life feels much better than before!   Copyright © Kristina M. Hooper                14 June 2010 (this poem

Natural Highlights

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So, today, I have an appointment to get my hair cut and colored.  We have a wedding to attend at the end of the month and I want to look my best.  And to me, that's an alarm to get the hair cut and the gray covered up.  Yes, I admit, I have gray hair...see photo on left - the 'colorful' sides'! I keep thinking that I am going to be 'natural'...no more coloring...let the gray come...after all, I am in my 50s now - why not?  Yet, when I see the gray coming I almost start to panic and know it's only a matter of time before I hit the salon, or the box.  Why?  Why is it that men can turn gray and it looks 'distinguished' or sexy?  What's up with that?  But a woman turns gray and we think we look old and, well, haggard.  Why the double standard?  Of course, I think women put more pressure on themselves - our men probably would say we are beautiful, regardless of hair color.  My husband would tell me not to worry. In fact, on our first date my husba

Reflections

Recently, I had the opportunity to spend some time with two of my nieces.  They were attending a conference in Orlando and I drove up and spent the night with them.  We had a lovely sushi dinner, then talked till 2:30 in the morning ~ about life, love, memories, etc.  It was a wonderful, wonderful evening. During the evening I shared some of my past with them.  I wanted them to know that we all make mistakes, that love isn't everything when it comes to relationships, how important self-knowledge is.  Oh yeah, I was the wise aunt.  Then I got home and started thinking - did I share too much?  Perhaps what I shared was a little TMI (too much information)?  Perhaps they had a vision of their aunt that I had now destroyed.  So I emailed them with my concerns and was happy to hear nothing was further from the truth. They were both happy to hear of my stories, my lost loves, my experiences...they both felt closer to me for sharing, and felt they were not alone.  And much to my amazem

Memorial Day - I Thank You

To those who fought, and those who died; for every flag raised high with pride; To mother, son, or widowed bride; for all the tears that have been cried; To those who pushed all fear aside; for every soul life was denied... I thank you. Kristina M. Hooper Copyright © 11/10/2009

Flags Upon The Graves

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I went to visit you today, the flag upon your grave; blowing gently in the breeze, so many, like a wave. Fallen heroes who fill the earth, fought proudly and so brave; I stand here with respect and awe, for what so many gave. These soldiers lived through battles past, the way to glory paved; for you and me, America, sweet liberty is saved. I went to visit you today, Old Glory, 'pon your grave; Fifty stars, red, white, and blue , home of the free and brave. Copyright © 05/26/2008 Kristina M. Hooper

Hallmark Employee

After not working for over a year and half, I must say getting back into the working world is a bit harder than I anticipated.  And I'm not even working full time.  Just this week, I worked Monday and Tuesday mornings - about four and half hours each day...not long, I know, but when I got home I was exhausted!  Now, to be fair to myself, I am on my feet the entire time - that's right, standing and bending - something I am not used to.  But it sure feels good to be out and about. The job itself is not rocket science.  However, there is definitely more to stocking cards than I ever thought or imagined!  If I have learned anything in these past two weeks it is this:  put cards back where you find them!  Do not put them willy nilly, wherever you want...believe it or not, there is a specific 'pocket' for every card.  I know, because I scan each card to put it in its place.  Last Thursday I serviced the Publix account.  I straightened, organized, all the Mother's Day

Mother's Day

Today is the day set aside to honor all mothers.  It is the day we call to mind that woman who raised us, who sacrificed for us, who kissed our booboos and made us feel better.  As I grow older, I realize how much my own Mom sacrificed for me and my six siblings...I am amazed at how much she did, every day, and how much she continues to do now.  She is a role model for what a wife and mother should be.  Is she perfect?  Hell no, but she would do anything for her children and she loves us all unconditionally.  I love her and am proud to call her Mom.  I cherish every day I have with her. But this day is bittersweet for me.  I am happy for my sisters, my friends, my family...to all those who have this day to celebrate.  I only wish I could celebrate as a mother.  For as long as I remember, my dream was to be a Mommy -I wanted lots of children.  As I got older, I knew the 'many' wouldn't happen, but I truly believed I would have at least one or two, twins perhaps.  It never

Justice

I've been thinking a lot about justice these days.  What is justice and how is it served?  I am praying that justice is served, but is not the defendant's family also praying that justice is served?  Both sides cannot have justice - at least not the justice they desire or seek.  We have truth on our side.  Will justice prevail because of truth?  Will my nieces find the justice they seek for all the injustices done to them?  And the trial, so close, was postponed, once again.  My niece cried saying she just wants this to be over.  As a wise aunt, I told her if she wants it to be over, let it be so within herself.  I told her not to let the trial be the deciding factor for her...b/c who knows how long this will continue?  And yet, despite my words to her, I find that I am desiring the exact same thing - I just want it to be over.  I want to know that he will pay for what he's done, I want to know that we can go on without thinking about what's to come.  I want to know t

Motorcycle Mama

Oh, I believe I forgot to mention...we are the proud owners of a '91 Honda Nighthawk - for those of you not in the know - that's a motorcycle.  Now mind you, it's not a huge bike, nor fully loaded, but it's big enough for the two of us.  Perfecto. Terry has been wanting one for some time, and has been looking for years, actually.  But he would always talk himself out of the buy - for one reason or another.  This time, I told him to buy it.  Just do it.  And he did.  He got the tags today, so I do believe we will be going out for a little spin.  Of course, we need a sissy bar so my fat ass doesn't fall off the bike!  Pictures will definitely be forthcoming.  The sellers sold a helmet with the bike - Terry put it on and he looked like the Great Gazoo, from the Flintstone's.  Now, who remembers that character and am I aging myself too much?  But he, Terry, looked so cute...of course, cute won't do on a bike, so we will also be investing in new helmets.   He

Anticipation

Well, tomorrow evening my niece and her friend (who is like a niece) will be here for spring break.  I am so looking forward to their visit.  This week has been taken up with cleaning the house, washing sheets, making the beds, washing the windows, etc.  Today I finished.  Tomorrow I will blow the leaves off the front porch and back patio and then await their arrival. Today is beautiful.  I do believe that spring has finally sprung - in every sense of the word.  The windows are opened, candles are burning - the scent of fresh grass fills the air.  I can hear the distant, but loud, radio of our neighbor who doesn't seem to know the word 'moderate' or 'neighborly', as he plays his music as loud as he wants.  At least today he isn't yelling at someone on the phone or in person, which usually include a few chosen cuss words! Yes, today is a good day.  I've written two poems - something I've done very little of since November 2009.  Poetry lifts my soul

Violet

I met a new friend today...her name is Violet - she is 86 years old and walks her dog, Angel (a pom) three times a day.  I see her everyday pass our house, and today I was lucky enough to meet her.  She walks along with her rolator, as Angel trots beside her.  It truly is the cutest site.  I am very pleased that I got to meet her and look forward to having other conversations with her.

Lemons into Lemonade

So, it's settled.  Employment in Florida sucks - big time!  I've applied at various places and haven't been able to attain a position.  And today, I got a letter stating 'my application will not be considered any further' from the Flagler Sherriff's Department - a job I really wanted.  Why?  Who knows...I'm thinking there was someone in-house already pegged for the job - because let's face it, my credentials were perfect for the position.  I am greatly disappointed; I truly thought this was the job that would come through.  BUT...it was full time, and I'm not quite sure I want full time.   All I know is that I need something to occupy some of my time.  With Terry working, I have way too much time on my hands and spend way too much time playing Bejeweled and thinking, thinking, thinking.  Thinking about things I have no control over, thinking about things I do have control over; thinking about this blog - is it really worth writing down my thoughts,

Eowyn's Song

I longed for you Sweet Eowyn, to fill my empty arms; like a dream you came to me, if only fleetingly, filling my heart with joy . Vacant now, my womb still aches and yet, again, I long for your return, if only in my dreams. Copyright © Kristina M. Hooper, 03/16/2010 My heart is heavy today; my niece miscarried.  She and her husband had longed for this child for years...and now, nothing.  Eowyn is what they were going to call her.  Some know the name from Lord of the Rings - the warrior princess, niece of Theodin, who killed the Nazgul.  I wish I could do something, say something to ease the pain and emptiness my Katie is feeling ~ but what is there to say?  Only that I love her so and ache for her.   These are the times I question why?  What is the purpose of taking such a precious life?  What would she have been like?  Unique and beautiful for sure - just like her mother.  The battle to conceive was long and hard...as one who was never able to conceive, the battle was

Harry Homeowner

So, we decide to go to Lowe's today to buy a drill.  But just what kind of drill?  A hammer drill?  An impact drill?  A drill/driver or just a drill?  And what size bits do we need ~ 1/2" or 3/8"?  After half an hour of listening to my husband describe what he needed, we left the store empty handed!  Ah men...I love my Harry Homeowner and I'm happy to see him doing new things, making our home safe and maintained.  He is wonderful, but sometimes can be a bit frustrating! On a lighter note, we did order chinese for dinner and drove to the river front to eat - beautiful breeze - okay, downright chilly, as the sun was setting and the fish were jumping...this is my life and I love it!