Ramblings of an Old, Romantic Soul

Depression is deceptive. Grief is sneaky. Together they are lethal, cunning, and insidious. And somedays I feel them grasping, pulling me deeper and deeper into the mire. It is scary.  This is truth. It does not mean that I do not have faith. I do. And I pray every day. Every day I see God's beauty. I thank Him for His grace and mercy - thankful for the blessings in my life.  And yet.  The other day I was mowing the lawn, something I enjoy doing. While resting, I happened to look over to the garden where Miss Marplestein and Dulcinea are buried - the hammer hit with the knowledge, again, they are not with us; that they died so close together and so near Mom's death. I am convinced that grief (for Mom and her sister), was a huge part in Miss M's death. These thoughts hit so unexpectedly. What do you do? Thoughts of my brother, still languishing in a hospital bed for three months, are never far away. Will he pull through? Is this his time - is God calling him home? Why can...

Hello again. Back by not so popular demand 😁  Depression is a sneaky thing.  Depression doesn't play fair. And depression does not make sense.  By all accounts, on paper, I should be the happiest person on earth. I have a loving, devoted husband, a wonderful marriage, a beautiful home, family and friends that love me unconditionally, fairly good health. The list is endless.  Yet for years, I have suffered from mild depression.   I have always believed that depression was a state of mind - that one could choose to be depressed, or one could choose to be happy.  I didn't get it.  But it is not so simple.  My depression started in 2009, with a horrific family tragedy. Subsequent years were followed by my father's death along with sudden deaths (and not so sudden) of  family members and friends. And though our move to Florida was/is the best thing we have ever done, the isolation from family took a toll.  As I said above, depression do...