Thursday, March 25, 2010

Motorcycle Mama

Oh, I believe I forgot to mention...we are the proud owners of a '91 Honda Nighthawk - for those of you not in the know - that's a motorcycle.  Now mind you, it's not a huge bike, nor fully loaded, but it's big enough for the two of us.  Perfecto.

Terry has been wanting one for some time, and has been looking for years, actually.  But he would always talk himself out of the buy - for one reason or another.  This time, I told him to buy it.  Just do it.  And he did.  He got the tags today, so I do believe we will be going out for a little spin.  Of course, we need a sissy bar so my fat ass doesn't fall off the bike!  Pictures will definitely be forthcoming. 

The sellers sold a helmet with the bike - Terry put it on and he looked like the Great Gazoo, from the Flintstone's.  Now, who remembers that character and am I aging myself too much?  But he, Terry, looked so cute...of course, cute won't do on a bike, so we will also be investing in new helmets.  

Here's to cruising down the road...until next blog...

Anticipation

Well, tomorrow evening my niece and her friend (who is like a niece) will be here for spring break.  I am so looking forward to their visit.  This week has been taken up with cleaning the house, washing sheets, making the beds, washing the windows, etc.  Today I finished.  Tomorrow I will blow the leaves off the front porch and back patio and then await their arrival.

Today is beautiful.  I do believe that spring has finally sprung - in every sense of the word.  The windows are opened, candles are burning - the scent of fresh grass fills the air.  I can hear the distant, but loud, radio of our neighbor who doesn't seem to know the word 'moderate' or 'neighborly', as he plays his music as loud as he wants.  At least today he isn't yelling at someone on the phone or in person, which usually include a few chosen cuss words!

Yes, today is a good day.  I've written two poems - something I've done very little of since November 2009.  Poetry lifts my soul and offers a way to release emotion deep within.  Writing is part of my being, something I think my husband finds hard to understand.  He accepts my need to write, but when I do he's thinking 'oh no, what did I do now?' or better 'what didn't I do?' to cause her to write.  Sometimes it is venting.  Sometimes my poem are very literal, sometimes I use poetic license.  One little emotion or thought, real or imagined, can trigger a barrage of words...I just go with the flow. 

And so, I'll leave you to revel in my deep ramblings of the day...until next blog...

Friday, March 19, 2010

Violet

I met a new friend today...her name is Violet - she is 86 years old and walks her dog, Angel (a pom) three times a day.  I see her everyday pass our house, and today I was lucky enough to meet her.  She walks along with her rolator, as Angel trots beside her.  It truly is the cutest site.  I am very pleased that I got to meet her and look forward to having other conversations with her.

Lemons into Lemonade

So, it's settled.  Employment in Florida sucks - big time!  I've applied at various places and haven't been able to attain a position.  And today, I got a letter stating 'my application will not be considered any further' from the Flagler Sherriff's Department - a job I really wanted.  Why?  Who knows...I'm thinking there was someone in-house already pegged for the job - because let's face it, my credentials were perfect for the position.  I am greatly disappointed; I truly thought this was the job that would come through.  BUT...it was full time, and I'm not quite sure I want full time.  

All I know is that I need something to occupy some of my time.  With Terry working, I have way too much time on my hands and spend way too much time playing Bejeweled and thinking, thinking, thinking.  Thinking about things I have no control over, thinking about things I do have control over; thinking about this blog - is it really worth writing down my thoughts, thinking about family, thinking about the loss of a relationship...but that's another subject for another blog.

Now that I know I will not be working full time, I will start looking at volunteer opportunities...I would like to volunteer at a cat clinic, but knowing me, I'd fall in love with all the cats and want to bring them home - something my dear husband would not stand for...two is quite enough, or so he says.  And, two of my nieces are coming down at the end of March, two more for the summer...so I will have all the time I want to spend with them, do whatever we want, whenever we want.

As the old saying goes 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade'...I'm not all that fond of lemonade, but I'll give it a shot, what else can I do?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Eowyn's Song

I longed for you
Sweet Eowyn,
to fill my empty arms;
like a dream
you came to me,
if only fleetingly,
filling my heart
with joy .
Vacant now,
my womb still aches
and yet, again,
I long for your return,
if only in my dreams.

Copyright © Kristina M. Hooper, 03/16/2010

My heart is heavy today; my niece miscarried.  She and her husband had longed for this child for years...and now, nothing.  Eowyn is what they were going to call her.  Some know the name from Lord of the Rings - the warrior princess, niece of Theodin, who killed the Nazgul.  I wish I could do something, say something to ease the pain and emptiness my Katie is feeling ~ but what is there to say?  Only that I love her so and ache for her.  

These are the times I question why?  What is the purpose of taking such a precious life?  What would she have been like?  Unique and beautiful for sure - just like her mother.  The battle to conceive was long and hard...as one who was never able to conceive, the battle was near and dear to my heart.  And what joy when I was told the joyous news...and now, I know not the reasons why, but I grieve so.  

Be at peace, sweet Eowyn, another angel in heaven to watch over us.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Harry Homeowner

So, we decide to go to Lowe's today to buy a drill.  But just what kind of drill?  A hammer drill?  An impact drill?  A drill/driver or just a drill?  And what size bits do we need ~ 1/2" or 3/8"?  After half an hour of listening to my husband describe what he needed, we left the store empty handed!  Ah men...I love my Harry Homeowner and I'm happy to see him doing new things, making our home safe and maintained.  He is wonderful, but sometimes can be a bit frustrating!

On a lighter note, we did order chinese for dinner and drove to the river front to eat - beautiful breeze - okay, downright chilly, as the sun was setting and the fish were jumping...this is my life and I love it!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Thoughts

I woke up this morning, couldn't sleep, and it was so dark...thought is was the middle of the night...the clock said 7:09 - another dark, rainy day.  But alas, our clocks change automatically, so in reality it was only 6:09...the day is now dawning and it looks to be a beauty!  Blue skies, sunny...birds already singing their songs!  I am filled with wonder and happiness that I am here - truly blessed.

Yesterday was  a good day.  We ventured out and about.  Went to the farmer's market and bought our fresh produce for the week; stopped by a flea market and purchased a few goodies - a cast iron skillet, a veggie griller, and I purchased two books - just couldn't resist.  Went to a nursery to investigate various soils for our garden; then home again.  It was good to spend the day with my love - I miss him during the week.

As much as I tell myself I will never by another book until I read all those I have (which are many), it doesn't work.  I bought an Alexander Dumas novel entitled 'The Vicomte de Bragelonne' and a John Bartlett book 'Familiar Quotations'...got both for $3 and they are hardback.  No paperbacks for me...wimpy are paperbacks.  I love the feel of hardbacks, and the older, the better.  In this I am so like my Daddy...I definitely inherited his love of books; and though my husband doesn't completely understand my lunacy, when we moved here he ensured that I had a library - he was insistent.  I love this room - can sit here for hours - just gazing at my books - they give me peace and comfort.  Very hard to explain.  I believe it's a feeling only a few know - those who truly love the written word.  

On my second cup of coffee now...my sweet Dulcinea is sitting on the ottoman, sleeping; my husband is on his computer with Miss Marplestein on his lap.  I love the serenity of such mornings. 

Due to certain circumstances, I have not written a poem since November 2009...the other night, inspiration struck - below is my latest creation:
 Waiting

Sitting here, waiting
as I often do;
hoping and praying
some comfort from you.
but word never comes,
it hasn't for years;
and yet here I wait,
alone in my tears.
waiting and watching,
still living a lie;
my heart won't forget,
my love will not die.
 

Copyright © Kristina M. Hooper, 03/13/2010

Friday, March 12, 2010

Sentimental Fool

It's a rainy day in Florida - the second rainy day in a row...not much to do but stay indoors and ponder.

I started one of my projects!  My goal is to scan in two full boxes of old photos - gathered throughout my life - to put on DVD/CD.  Yesterday, I pulled out the boxes and started browsing.  Wow - a flood of emotions.  How young I looked back in 1978, 1981, 1989...how young and innocent.  Much has changed since those days.  But we learn from life - all our experiences make us richer and make us who we are today, warts and all.  If we are fortunate, we learn from our mistakes.  Some do, some do not. 


Funny thing in looking back at my younger self.  I was always considered overweight, fat...I look at the pictures and think 'what?'...For sure, I wasn't a beanpole like my sister, Kate, but I wasn't fat.  How those adjectives colored my whole life, my self worth.  I look at these photos and see this cute, adorable, humble person - not the fatty who I thought I was.  Ah, if only I could have known my true self back then I would have saved myself much heartache and pain.  

And so...I leave you to scan...until next blog...

Introduction

Who am I?

I recently retired and my husband and I moved to Florida, leaving most of our families behind.  There are days when I miss the family, days when I do not.  

One would think that being recently retired would be a good thing, and indeed, it is.  However, I have come to the conclusion that retiring and relocating should not have happened at the same time.  I should have stopped working, adjusted to the new life of a lady of leisure, started projects, then moved.  Instead, it all happened at once and I am having a hard time adjusting.  Not to say I don't like my free time - it's just that there is A LOT of free time.  And now that my husband has been working, I am left to fend for myself.  

I haven't made any friends, but I don't really want to make the effort.  I have come to realize that I am not the 'people person' I once thought I was.  And that's okay.  I am quite content to be at home on my computer, writing poetry, playing bejeweled or mahjong, surfing the net.  I have projects lined up and thoughts of volunteering...thoughts...the projects are slowly taking shape, the volunteering not so much.  And that's okay.  

I think one of the hardest things to get used to is realizing that there is no deadline for anything.  That can be good and bad.  But I don't have to start my project today - if I don't, I can start tomorrow, or the next day, or the next.  While working, we tend to be on such a schedule - be at work at a certain time, eat lunch at a certain time, finish deadlines at certain time, leave work at a certain time...life revolves around a clock and each minute is pretty much scheduled.  It ain't so anymore!  I am free...as much as I wanted to be free, I am very much surprised at just how hard it has been to adjust.