Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Day

Thinking of 19 January, the day we buried Daddy...

Today we put you in the ground,
church bell chimes, the only sound;
with angels gazing all around,
your resting place here is found.

We listen closely, preacher speaks,
each in sorrow, comfort seeks;
as gentle tears flow down our cheeks,
thoughts of you, the years and weeks.

Courageously you passed your days,
filled with love and tender ways;
lone trumpeter, as Taps he plays,
honors you with thanks and praise.

The flag upon your casket crowned,
folded neatly, tightly bound;
loved ones passing by your mound,
moments frozen, so profound.

Eternal peace at last you've found,
today we put you in the ground.

Copyright © Kristina M. Hooper, 01/30/2011





Saturday, January 22, 2011

Leaving You

Tomorrow I am leaving you.  I will leave this condo, full of you and your 'stuff', with a heavy heart.  For I know the next time I visit, things could be different.  This could be the last time I see parts of you - your closet, full of your clothes; your office, full of your books, your pens, your piggies, your holy relics...all those things that made you YOU, that made you the wonderful husband, daddy, poppop, friend you were.  All these pieces of you that are making it so hard to leave.  There will always be a part of you here, and this is where I will come when I want to feel close to you.  You are gone, but you will live forever here...and so goodbye, Daddy, I am leaving you tomorrow.  I love you.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Missing You

It's 3:00 in the morning and I can't sleep, I'm missing you so.  Yesterday was the first day without you, the first day I couldn't see you, or pick up the phone to call you.  I drank my coffee out of your piggy mug, I wore one of your sweatshirts...but those are just things and hold nothing of your love or warmth. 

You have been here all my life; what do I do now?  This is a new phase and I'm not sure how to handle things.  I do realize that I now have two fathers in heaven I can pray too; but I would rather have you here to give your wisdom, your thoughts, your hugs. 

So what's it like up there?  Did you see PopPop and Grandma?  Noni and Grandad?  Did you see Grammy and Aunt Wawee, Aunt Marie and Uncle Ed, Jack and Arline, Ed, Bill, Sam, Chris, Joe?  What do the angels look like, and more importantly what does the throne of our Lord look like?  Did you see us there, crying over your body?  You waited till you were alone, then left...I wonder why?  Did you hear me singing to you early in the morning, holding your hand?  Do you see how much you are loved, how many lives you touched?

The world will be a different place now.  We have lost a great man, the most wonderful father in the world, and the most devoted husband.  Don't worry, we will take care of Mom.  And just think, now you will always know exactly where she is!  No more asking 'where's Momma?' 

It's early morning down here and I can't sleep...just want to let you know that I miss you beyond these measly words, and that my heart aches for you.  I love you.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Sorrow

Below is a poem I wrote a couple years ago when Dad was in the hospital...rather sums up what I'm feeling right now...the poem is called 'Sorrow'.

railroad








Lonesome whistle sounds,
slowly down the track;
and in my heart I wonder,
will you be coming back?

Lonely whistle haunts,
speaks unto my soul;
a grieving deep within,
which no one can console.

Kristina M. Hooper

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Remembrances

So many memories are floating through my mind these past days...memories of my Dad, and just how he seemed to always know what I needed:

I remember when I broke up with one of my boyfriends (which was probably in answer to Daddy's prayers!), he came over to my apartment and sat with me, consoled me and held me while I cried.

I remember when the engine blew in my malibu classic.  The repairs went on for months, and Dad insisted that I handle everything myself...he said it would teach me to stand up for myself...it surely did.

I remember when I had my first accident, sliding on ice.  I got to work, called my Daddy, crying, saying I didn't want to drive home - asked if he would come get me;  he said 'no, if i come and get you, you'll never drive in snow/ice again; you need to get back in the car and drive home'...as always, he was right.

One particular Christmas I was having a very rough time - just very sad and depressed; I wanted an Oxford Dictionary, but knew it was too expensive for 'Santa Clause'...after everyone opened their gifts, Dad said there was one more that was hidden behind a chair, and it was for me.  I opened it, and there was my dictionary...still one of my most cherished possessions. 

There was a time when I was very upset about something happening at work.  Mom knew something was wrong and was insisting that I tell her; Dad simply hugged me and said 'when you're ready to talk, i'm here'...of course, I started bawling and blubbered the whole story.  Again, he held me and consoled me.

So many memories.  One of my nieces told me today that I was a female PopPop...that my words of wisdom, and my hugs always made her feel better.  I couldn't ask for a better compliment.  And although I somewhat doubt her words, what an ideal to aspire to.