Saturday, January 15, 2011

Missing You

It's 3:00 in the morning and I can't sleep, I'm missing you so.  Yesterday was the first day without you, the first day I couldn't see you, or pick up the phone to call you.  I drank my coffee out of your piggy mug, I wore one of your sweatshirts...but those are just things and hold nothing of your love or warmth. 

You have been here all my life; what do I do now?  This is a new phase and I'm not sure how to handle things.  I do realize that I now have two fathers in heaven I can pray too; but I would rather have you here to give your wisdom, your thoughts, your hugs. 

So what's it like up there?  Did you see PopPop and Grandma?  Noni and Grandad?  Did you see Grammy and Aunt Wawee, Aunt Marie and Uncle Ed, Jack and Arline, Ed, Bill, Sam, Chris, Joe?  What do the angels look like, and more importantly what does the throne of our Lord look like?  Did you see us there, crying over your body?  You waited till you were alone, then left...I wonder why?  Did you hear me singing to you early in the morning, holding your hand?  Do you see how much you are loved, how many lives you touched?

The world will be a different place now.  We have lost a great man, the most wonderful father in the world, and the most devoted husband.  Don't worry, we will take care of Mom.  And just think, now you will always know exactly where she is!  No more asking 'where's Momma?' 

It's early morning down here and I can't sleep...just want to let you know that I miss you beyond these measly words, and that my heart aches for you.  I love you.

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