Ponderances


 It is Good Friday. My mind is full of memories, pictures from the past. 

I was talking with my husband the other day about life; what we expect, is it what we thought it would be? It's no secret that he and I have had our 'differences', politically. It's tough. We've been married 25 years. Is our marriage, today, what we thought it would be? Yes, and no. Did we ever think we would be at odds? I said to him: "life takes over - we're not so innocent anymore. The pure joy of childhood dissipates. What we thought life would be changes. Life may not be quite what we thought it would - not that it's bad, just not what our child minds envisioned."  How true. 

Early this morning, I was chatting with a very dear friend, one of the best humans I will ever know - Joan. She is my rock, and her faith constantly lifts me up. This what Joan said that has me thinking so much: "Remembering my childhood with a new Easter dress, fancy coat, Easter hat, ruffled white socks, black patent leather shoes, little white gloves, Easter basket, dyeing eggs. This era is just not the same. I miss the proper focus, importance, celebration. What a lost world. How we must grieve Him. Yet His blood still redeems, His cracked lips still say our name, His crown of thorns borne for our iniquities. His pierced hands held out to us. Still. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Father for sending your Son." Wow. Powerful. 

When did it change?  When did the joy fade? I know the true meaning of Easter, of Christmas, and I celebrate in my heart; but now, these holidays feel like an ordinary day. Where is the anticipation, the excitement?  Is it simply the fact we grow up and leave childhood behind?  

Mom, and Dad, made the holidays so special. New shoes, dresses, traditions. The anticipation. Aunt Marie and Uncle Ed arriving with Chicklettes and silver dollars. The chaos. The good china - a fully set dining room table. Laughter. The cakes, the baskets. Everything. Such good memories. Are they more poignant today because both parents are now gone? 

It is a beautiful day. It is Good Friday, the day that our Lord was crucified. Perhaps my spirit is mourning, remembering what He sacrificed for me. And in turn, I recall all that Mom and Dad sacrificed for me, for my siblings. 

Thanks for reading this convoluted mess of ponderances. May each of you have a blessed Easter. 






Comments

  1. JosephineSaturday, 16 April, 2022

    😭😭😭 Beautiful as always Sis. I’m feeling very sad and nastolgic these days also, for the same reasons. The holidays just don’t seem to have the importance to those around me as I once thought it to be for me. Traditions made and lost 😞. Perhaps I’m feeling the loss of Mom and remembering all she did for us❤️

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