Saturday, December 24, 2011

Distractions and Other Things

So, my 'baby girls' continue to be a delight.  They amuse and amaze constantly.  And today, when I most needed a distraction, Dulcinea provided.  She has taken to scratching at either the linen closet or my underwear drawer...if she does this long enough, she opens the closet or the drawer, and climbs inside.  Today, we came home from our walk and there she was, sitting in my underwear drawer - and she had tossed some of my 'unmentionables' onto the floor!  A good laugh indeed and just too precious for words.

I can't seem to focus on much...everything I think about leads me back to Daddy...and I can't seem to decide what I want to do; my mind switches from one thing to another and I can't make decisions.  Do I want to go to church - but if I do I'm afraid the first note of the first carol will open a floodgate.  Do I want to go to my sister-in-law's family - but if I do, I'm afraid all the laughter and togetherness will make me miss him even more than I already do.  Do I want to just stay home - but if I do I can't stop thinking about him and crying.  My husband is so kind and gracious, so loving and supportive.  I knew it would be rough, but...Daddy, I know you're up there celebrating Christmas with the real thing; I know you are looking down with love upon all your family.  But I do know that as much as we want you here, you are quite happy and delighted where you are.  And I know you know this, but we all miss you terribly.  I think of how much you loved Christmas, loved our traditions, loved your family gathered around you...I love you so much and miss you even more.

Thank goodness for distractions and other things on this first Christmas without you.

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