Expectations

Expectations never live up to the hype in my mind, and usually end in disappointment.  I know this. Yesterday started with high hopes and ended in tears. On my part. But first, a little history that may explain why my anticipation was so great.

Years and years ago - perhaps 50ish - Mom received a beautiful manger scene for her birthday/Christmas presents.  Dad gave her the creche, and my siblings and I gave her the figurines. It has been one of Mom's prized possessions.  It has been displayed every Christmas.  It has been the centerpiece of our family's Christmas celebrations.  We would gather round the manger and sing Christmas carols, then each grandchild would walk up to the manger and place the figurine (of their choice ) into the manger. The youngest grandchild would lay baby Jesus in the crib and we would sing happy birthday to Jesus.  Beautiful memories that will forever live in my heart. 



Back to yesterday.  My plan - and this was my first mistake - MY PLAN - not Mom's, was to start decorating. I was so excited to have something productive for Mom to do.  Christmas music filled the air.  Yes, this was going to be fun!!!  Mom's task was to unwrap the figurines.  A short time later I looked over and she was sitting in the chair, no figurines unwrapped.  When asked, she said she didn't know what to do.  I gently explained again. Once completed, I suggested she put the figurines in place. She sat in front of the manger and was a bit emotional. I hugged her and went about my decorating.  45 mintues later, Mom was still just looking at the manger.  Nothing had been done because she didn't know what to do. My cocoon of happiness shattered; tears started. It isn't her fault, and I cannot take it personally. My tears were not because she didn't decorate, they were because she couldn't decorate. She was lost. Expectations crushed. Later she asked if her Christmas things made the move to Florida. All I could say was 'yes, Mom, they did.'.  

This journey is a rollercoaster of highs and lows. Expectations. My sisters gently reminded me to breathe and stay calm. It was also suggested that when planning activities with Mom, have zero expectations. Wise words. Today, I see things clearer. First, when making plans, include Mom. Ask her opinion. My excitement does not equate to her excitement. Her memories are not mine. Perhaps for Mom, seeing the manger only reminded her of what she no longer has - her husband, her home, her friends.  Whatever memories come and go, wherever her mind takes her, she is still a woman with emotions and thoughts, and may even have expectations of her own. 

P.S. And yes, I do believe we were the only family to have pigs and a giraffe in our manger scene. 😏

Comments

  1. Suzie MearaWednesday, 25 November, 2020

    I really enjoy your blogs sister. I love the way you write. Keep posting!🤗💖😍

    ReplyDelete
  2. KristinaSunday, 29 November, 2020

    Thank you 💗

    ReplyDelete

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