Fixations

Dementia does strange things to the mind. This may sound like an obvious statement, and I suppose it is, but to see firsthand what happens to the mind is both heartbreaking and astonishing - from the mood changes, to the forgetfulness, to the obsessions/fixations. As in the photo above, a cloud descends upon the mind which shrouds all thoughts and memories. 

Early on it was dental floss. Then it was picking her fingers. Now it is kleenex and constantly wiping her mouth and nose.  Each day brings a new fixation.  Who knows what happens during the night, but 

I am beginning to realize that the first thing Mom asks about in the morning is usually the question of the day. 

Last week she was asking about her move to Florida.  How did it happen, why wasn't she asked, why couldn't she stay where she was, etc. Her finances are also a very big concern.  Every other day she asks if she is contributing to the household, what money she has, and how much she trusts my big sister. Oddly, she remembers that Mary Jo handles her finances and has done so for many years. It is very important that she carry her weight and not be a freeloader. 

Earlier in the week she wanted to know about her cedar chest. She bought the chest when she was a single girl and it has been with her through every move - we are talking 70+ years. The chest is here, in the spare bedroom, in a spot visible to her. It has been here for a year.  Only now is she asking about the contents, and a cover that her mother made for the chest.  I vaguely remember a cover - long ago - but Mom insists that she would never throw the cover out because it had her mother's touch.  I have not seen the cover in many, many years.  

Yesterday she woke up with a 'very important question' for me.  What are the plans when she dies?  How will her ashes get to Maryland?  Will her ashes be buried with Dad?  All this has been discussed with her many times. I can only reassure her that in the end, she will be with Daddy.  

This morning the first words out of her mouth were 'It is good to be alive'! Such words of wisdom!  And such a positive, upbeat way to start the day!  I can only hope this fixation lasts throughout the day.